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The Scum Bus, Ignorant People, and New Toys! - The Paranoid Android
...musings of a mechanically depressed robot...
The Scum Bus, Ignorant People, and New Toys!
Yesterday I had a filing cabinet delivered to my parents house. It took two "beefy" (according to my mum) guys to get it up the path, and they had to drop it several times for a rest. The path is about 10 feet long. I now have to get said cabinet back to my house, and up a flight of stairs into the office (or box room!). I seriously hope it comes apart, or I'll need a block and tackle to move it.

On Monday my other office supplies arrived. I have a new cordless phone (the last one I bought is still being used by my parents, they are so used to it now it would be an act of cruelty to take it away from them!) and a bucket load of hanging files for the filing cabinet!

I used the new phone last night to call Misty for a couple of hours! It's damn sexy ... which is important in an electrical gadget! It's now at home waiting patiently for the nice NTL engineers to switch my phone service on, which is now booked for Friday the 13th .... oh.

Every morning I now have a choice on how I get to work. I can walk to the station (15 minutes walk tops) and have a choice of buses, or I can get the scum bus (365) from a stop just round the corner to where I live. I was running a little late this morning, so I waited at the scum bus stop. Within seconds of my arrival a nasty smelly man arrived, shouting at one woman about his recent injustices (like having to work for a living!) and then trying to strike up a conversation with me. It was at this point I realised that he in all probability did not know the woman he was originally taking to.

Now I'm not the most communicative guy on the planet by a long shot, so his first question; "Has the bus gone past?" was met by a monosyllable. What I would have liked to say was, "Would I still be standing here if the bus had gone past? Why don't you stand up down wind from me, or wash, you disgusting excuse for a man," but I didn't want to give him an excuse to speak to me any more. As it was he stood up wind from me for the 10 minutes it took for the bus to arrive, so I could savour him in his all his glory. It was smells you could actually taste if you breathed through your mouth.

Needless to say I strategically let him on the bus first so I could sit as far from him as possible!

Due to the buses lateness (oh! There's a surprise) it was quite crowded. Mr Smelly had gone upstairs so I stood downstairs near the driver. The only other person standing was at the other end of the bus, near the exit doors. At the next stop there was a crowd of people. The first two got on the bus and stood next to me in the narrow isle down the middle of the bus. This isle is normally wide enough to accommodate a pushchair/buggy, but with these two fat "twirlies" stood beside me there was not enough room for a mouse to get past. There was about 12 people still trying to get on the bus.

I'm not exactly a stupid person, and I often make the mistake of judging people on *my* level, but surely even to a total idiot it was apparent that blocking the isle is not the right this to do? So I moved. This gave the people getting on the bus a gap about as narrow as I am to get past, (I'm not skinny, but I'm no bloater either) and there was much tuting and sighing.

The next stop a woman with a pushchair tries to get on. Now there is no way she can get past the two fat twirlies, so there was a bit of a fuss and the two fat twirlies refused to move. Luckily the next stop was Elm Park Station, so half of the bus emptied, and the fat twirlies got a seat. The mum then proceeded to block the isle with the push chair! Having been inconvenienced herself she should have realised that was not a good thing to do, yet she still did it!

I wish I had the balls to go up to these people and point out the error of their ways, rather than sit at the back of the bus and stew.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: sick sick

9 comments or Leave a comment
candledamachine From: candledamachine Date: December 5th, 2002 06:00 am (UTC) (Link)


wtf is a "twirlie"... and a "pushchair"?

And fat/bloater isn't bad dear, Stupid is. Remember, some of your friends are fat/bloaters. :o)
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: December 5th, 2002 07:10 am (UTC) (Link)

Oh :)

twirlie .... Essex slang (we it is now!) for an OAP trying to get on a bus with their free passes before 9 o'clock with the phrase "Is it too early?" or as misheard by a lass in work, "Is is twirly?" So they became know as the twirlies.

I wasn't saying fat/bloater was bad (or otherwise), I was trying to point out just how much room was made by me moving out of the way!
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: December 6th, 2002 04:02 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: 'k..

oh... and a pushchair is a baby transprtation device...
...and I'm reliably(?) informed that the twirly thing is not commonly known even here!
teya_uk From: teya_uk Date: December 6th, 2002 04:23 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: 'k..

I didn't know they were called twirlies ...
tweezlebum From: tweezlebum Date: December 5th, 2002 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes, sitting at the back and stewing is the only way to get to work without getting your face kicked in. And it's such a lovely face, we wouldn't want some Essex tart to damage it with her cheap pointy-toed shoes, would we? :-*
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: December 5th, 2002 07:12 am (UTC) (Link)


I doubt the old ladies would have punched me, and the mum was about 4 foot nawt, and even bianca could have knocked her over. I didn't feel physically threatened at all... it was all just an afront to my logic.
tweezlebum From: tweezlebum Date: December 5th, 2002 07:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: >smooch<

You never know.. The little ones can pack a powerful punch. Sherri is wee, but I have no doubt that she could kick my ass from here to London.
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: December 5th, 2002 09:59 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: >smooch<

That might be handy ! ;)
tweezlebum From: tweezlebum Date: December 5th, 2002 10:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: >smooch<

lmao! In a way, I suppose so.
9 comments or Leave a comment