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Diversity... - The Paranoid Android
...musings of a mechanically depressed robot...
Last night was a "Happy Thursday"

My most charitable employers hold a happy "hour" (5:30-9:00?) in the canteen area every last Thursday of the Month. They provide free beer, (nasty lager) alco-pops, wine and various soft drinks. There are also "nibbles" but not nearly enough to keep the hundreds of people who attend even remotely sober.

The problem with free drink is my capacity to sink them a lot faster than I should. I am not alone in this. It's a miracle the monthly event has stayed trouble free!

Last night the conversation was heading down hill rapidly. Considering it started in a brothel in Brussels(?) downwards was not an easy direction to take, but we managed. We were discussing the "scale of 1" in relation to ranking the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's what floats your boat.) The scale of one is kinda binary (in it's very nature) - you would either give it one - or you wouldn't.

This conversation prompted the rather ancient premiss that most guys would give one to almost any lass within a certain age range. The age range appears to widen the older the guy gets. There were a couple of other factors - beer seemed to feature in some way! - but young Creeb's summed it up the best - "Any hole is a goal"

It's about now I feel the need to describe a policy we have at work called "Diversity." This is your basic political correctness policy - equality to all - don't offend anyone (unless they are while heterosexual males - in which case they can handle it) Our conversation to this point was not particularly "Diverse."

It was about this time that an idea presented itself to the Gaffer. Most Wednesdays we try and play a five-a-side football game. Sometimes there are not enough people so it's more four-a-side, sometimes there is enough for six-a-side. The Gaffer's plan was an England verses the rest of the world special. The Gaffer would be the England Capt. - Art was to be the ROTW Capt. We worked out a few rules (none of this "My granddad was Spanish so I'm not English melarky") - if you was born in England you are English - if you wasn't you are a "Rest of the World" candidate (for the premise of the football game only of course!).

It amazes me that it was due to this conversation that one of the girls who had not only witnessed the brothel and scale of 1 conversations, but joined in, now voiced concern at the "Diverseness" of our football game!

I also discovered there is now at least one more work colleague reading this than I was previously aware of. Hello!

The other idea that was banded around came from Misty... I still not sure why she was reading Cosmo, but within it's glossy pages there was an article talking about emotional infidelity. Based on a "quiz" you could find out if you were having an emotional affair. We worked out Big Ade was having an emotional affair with Jen and Karen, and he was most pleased.

The final conversation was in the lift on the way home. Is discussing a work colleagues butt ("That's a nice butt") out of earshot of said colleague Diverse or not?

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: crappy hung over
Current Music: Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now

6 comments or Leave a comment
teya_uk From: teya_uk Date: July 1st, 2005 11:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Definatley not acceptable conversation ... according to JPMC anyway! Also, wonder how long the free beer will continue to flow once Jamie is completely in control?
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: July 5th, 2005 11:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Who knows? the IM business seems to be able to do it's own thing at the moment. long may this be the case.
brightspot From: brightspot Date: July 1st, 2005 12:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hell, who cares if it's diverse...it's flattering, right? Now, if you were talking about how nasty said person's butt was, how it made you puke a little every time you saw it, and how it looked like it had a mind of it's own, well...I could see that becoming a non-diverse conversation. ;o)
tweezlebum From: tweezlebum Date: July 1st, 2005 01:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
"And how it looked like it had a mind of it's own" made me laugh until things hurt.
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: July 5th, 2005 11:30 am (UTC) (Link)
>rubs the things better
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: July 5th, 2005 11:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I can understand someone being offended if the remarks are worded badly... (I won't use an example!) but I'm sure I'd be flattered if part of my anatomy was the subject of someones praises no matter how it was phrased.

I also understand that the company has to cover it's own ass (no pun intended) - sexual harrasment in the work place is still quite common and where to draw the line is a hard decision.
6 comments or Leave a comment