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The Paranoid Android
...musings of a mechanically depressed robot...
Musings of a Paranoid Android...
Over the "lurve holiday" there have been various reports in news papers about what are acceptable gifts to send your loved one. I found it interesting that there were women out there complaining about getting gifts of chocolate and underwear... surely getting anything for valentines is a plus? I guess the peep-hole bra is a little tacky but this still means you was in his thoughts... even if they are sordid and tacky thoughts. As for chocolate - I thought that was every girls best friend!

Misty got me a workmate and a power tool. This seems perfectly acceptable to me - power tools are the toys of the adult world. If I had bought her a rice steamer or, heaven forbid, a steam iron I believe I would be carrying my nuts home in a plastic bag.

Surely a power tool is little different to a steam iron? Both are labour saving devices aim to assist you getting jobs you don't really want to do get done faster. An iron wouldn't be the best gift in my case as I do as much if not more of the ironing as Misty does. Perhaps some pots and pans?

On the way into work this morning I got a copy of the Big Issue. It's always the same guy out there in the weather and I try to get one if I have enough change on me. I'm not sure either of us is ready for the embarrassment of the last time I tried to purchase a copy only to discover I had no change. I always give him a couple quid and don't expect change. Is this normal? The face value of the paper is £1.40 I think it says somewhere on the paper that the guys pay half of that and get half as their payment for selling them. I wondered how much the average person pays, and if others expect change: Am I being generous or stingy? It's things like this that keep me up at night.

Every morning I get off the Central Line at Liverpool Street and I'm met by a wall of people attempting to get on the train. Not one of them will get out of the way so that I and the other passengers wishing to alight can get off. There is a couple seconds of impasse before someone eventually moves to one side. I have this overwhelming urge to walk through them with my arms flung apart knocking them all back whilst screaming "let the passengers off the train before trying to board you m%&*$! f*&%ers!" I find this really sets me up well for the remainder of the day.

I want a megaphone. I think they are called bull horns over in the U.S. of A. I would use it to inform people of the little inconsiderate things they do. For instance: cyclists who disregard traffic lights and run down pedestrians who are crossing at a pelican crossing showing a green man. If you are using the road you should follow the rules of the road. If you want to be a pedestrian get off the bike. I would argue back with the increasing number of people who have started to use such things to tell me how I should live my life, like which god I should kowtow to.

Time to go home.

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Moby - One Of These Mornings

13 comments or Leave a comment
tweezlebum From: tweezlebum Date: February 16th, 2005 06:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think it depends. I bought you the router & the work bench because I knew how much you want to make that table. It was important to you, so while the actual gift may not have been traditionally romantic (but, saying that, I don't put much stock in many traditions anyway), the thought behind it was.

I would not be impressed if you bought me a steam iron because I hate ironing, but if you bought me...say...a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer because you'd seen me drooling over one in Debenhams, that would be impressive. And if it was because I'd mentioned it off-hand & not because you wanted me to bake more cakes, it would even be romantic. It's all about the intent. :P
nuala From: nuala Date: February 16th, 2005 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's all about the intent

paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 17th, 2005 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
My point... if I had one... was that it is acceptable "traditionally" to give a guy a power tool as a present, but not to give a gal a domestic tool...

I know *we* are weird... ;)
yalith From: yalith Date: February 16th, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Power tools are neat. You can do stuff with them!
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 17th, 2005 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
I need wood now... really need wood - so I can route!
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 17th, 2005 10:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Err... that sounds a lot ruder than I originally intended it to...
wan1 From: wan1 Date: February 17th, 2005 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Don't understand whatcha mean!!!

Nice, no, very very nice floor. Well done you two.

Hugs'n'stuff. xxx
nuala From: nuala Date: February 16th, 2005 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dora = Flashy blinkie card. Andrew = Queen's Night at the Opera dvd. Yup. Uh huh. Shutthefuckup. :D
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 17th, 2005 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Dora = Flashy blinkie card.

You could have stopped there... that's all you needed to say really ! ;)
nuala From: nuala Date: February 18th, 2005 12:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Go on. Admit it. You're jealous of the flashy blinkie card. ;)
sickandpoo From: sickandpoo Date: February 18th, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC) (Link)


I agree on the passengers
wossisname From: wossisname Date: February 19th, 2005 06:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

us non road users

JDP you should know pedestrians are always wrong even dead ones.All road users know that sacred lane plus 25 yards either side is their domain at all times.
Nice job on the flooring from proud dad.
(Deleted comment)
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 24th, 2005 02:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure "mechanically depressed" is stolen straight from one of the books (I forget which) so I can claim no credit there. I think it is a clever mix of manic and mechanical.
13 comments or Leave a comment