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...is a hazy shade of winter - The Paranoid Android
...musings of a mechanically depressed robot...
...is a hazy shade of winter
I've just noticed how little I have updated recently. There are two main reasons for this:

1) Time. I usually update from work (as I am doing now) as I have a quiet surroundings where I am unlikely to be distracted. There are few things I want to do whilst in work that will stop me from posting.

The problem with updating from work is having the time. Writing here may be more preferable than doing actual work, but sometimes the job really needs to get done. Being busy recently has become most common place... and hence a shortage of posts.

2) Content. If I think back on the last couple of weeks I haven't really done anything of note. I have never lead a fantastically exciting life and I still manage to write something... but recently I've done nothing.

So there you have it... even if I wasn't busy at work, I'm not sure I would have written anything at all.

That said, I will write about some things that are causing me strange dreams and some loss of sleep.

Dad is still in the hospital. He is still waiting for a test. He is otherwise fit and well... but the fact he is still in hospital is a concern to me. I dreamed I was in hospital.. then in the same dream he was the one in hospital and I was only visiting.

I have a shitload of work to do, both here and at home. Very little is getting done, some through other's inaction, some through mine. I have an overwhelming sense of apathy. Hundreds of tasks to be done stands before me like a mountain... the tip obscured by clouds. The climb is not an easy one... I have dreamt about being in work, doing jobs only to wake up and find out I need to do them again... only this time for real. Waking to find that the last 8 hours of work you did was just a dream is perhaps the most depressing thing I've ever encountered. It hardly motivates me to get up and get to work.

I need to get motivated again. My life is approaching a rut... and I've been there before and don't wish to return there anytime soon.

Time, time, time, see what's become of me
While I looked around
For my possibilities
I was so hard to please

It's strange that a recent post by gizalia quoting Beatles lyrics had me think of the hazy shade of winter... and I couldn't remember where that line was from. It's a Simon and Garfunkle tune called (of course) Hazy Shade of Winter. The first verse seems apt to me at the mo.

Well - I've taken up more time than I should with this... so I'll get back to the mountain that is my in tray.

Current Mood: apathetic apathetic

3 comments or Leave a comment
insert_token From: insert_token Date: February 25th, 2004 07:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Of course now, I've got 'A Hazy Shade of Winter' stuck in my head - all your fault. ;)

Hope your dad gets well enough to come home soon. Hospitals are awful places.
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 25th, 2004 09:05 am (UTC) (Link)
heh ... payback! ... I was singing Dear Prudence for most of the afternoon I read your post!

Thanks for the well wishes... :)
wan1 From: wan1 Date: February 25th, 2004 01:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hazy Winters turn to brilliant Springs.......

Hello my apathetic friend. January and February are always "down" months. Things will look up; as the mornings get lighter so will your work-load. There's a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Be single-minded and aim for it. This time next year- no you wont be a millionaire- you'll look back and see all that you've achieved and when you feel off again you'll remember that it's OK to have time-out and do nowt!(But only in Jan and Feb!!!) Enough sermonizing. Another song to bug your brain- "Always look on the bright side". No doubt you'll want to strangle me after that little ditty runs through your head for the next 24 hours! No worries-at least it'll take your mind off jobs unfinished.
Need an ear? You know how to reach me.
See ya.......

3 comments or Leave a comment