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...or are you putting on weight? - The Paranoid Android
...musings of a mechanically depressed robot...
paranoidandroid
paranoidandroid
...or are you putting on weight?
I have a bet with someone in work... but we can't find out who has won.

I was in the pub (no surprise there) last Friday when Little Toe asked me if another work colleague was pregnant.  I replied that I hadn't heard - Toe said she bet she was.  We settled on the grand stake or a weeks Tea from the trolley man.

But now we have to wait... because I can't ask a woman if she is pregnant!  Not without the risk of offence.  Even if I were to say that I didn't believe it - there is still the risk.

So, dear reader, just how would you go about asking someone if they were pregnant... or would you do as I have done and just wait it out (conceding the bet in the process).

Tags:
Current Location: EC2Y 9AQ
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Sinéad O'Connor - Silent Night, Holy Night

22 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
topkat From: topkat Date: February 8th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't think the stakes are worth the slap you might get if you asked if someone was pregnant or just getting FAT!
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 8th, 2007 05:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Indeed - £5.50 is well spent to prevent the shame a handprint would bring.
teya_uk From: teya_uk Date: February 8th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
You could just say 'you're looking really well dear, blossoming in fact' ... and see if she confides in you .. or says yeah, eaten way too many choccies at xmas! Who do you reckon is preggers then?
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 8th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Problem is - I'm such a shameless flirt at times it might be hidden with all the other nonsense I spout. I might try it out tonight if the "drink" or "rumour" methods don't work.
seattleforge From: seattleforge Date: February 9th, 2007 04:55 am (UTC) (Link)
It might be less bad just to call her out on being fat and then maybe she'll confess to being pregnant?
laaalaaa From: laaalaaa Date: February 8th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
"you are looking radiant.. " etc etc. Although most deem it bad luck to spill the beans before 3 months, so you might have a wait on your hands.
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 8th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
"you look radiant" is synonymous with "you're pregnant" and is almost as likely to get me a slap - and as much as I love a slap every now and then...
laaalaaa From: laaalaaa Date: February 8th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
thats the whole point, you may or may not be implying it.. only other way is to ask straight out! Or, you could just give her a test and ask her to pee on it :P
From: faith__eternal Date: February 8th, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would ask someone "Hey. I heard a rumour that someone in the office is preggo! Is it true? Who is it??"

:D
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 8th, 2007 05:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Interesting ploy - that might just work as well! I have many devious minds reading! :)
insert_token From: insert_token Date: February 8th, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Offer her a beer?
paranoidandroid From: paranoidandroid Date: February 8th, 2007 05:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh my! - That's perfectly sneaky! You are a Genius™
jettcat From: jettcat Date: February 8th, 2007 05:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don't ask, not if you want to live....

Asking someone's whose put on weight if they're pregnant is just asking for it...
tabby_of_doom From: tabby_of_doom Date: February 8th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd say, "I thought I heard a rumor that you were pregnant. Was it you, or am I mistaken?"
wan1 From: wan1 Date: February 8th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Are you or ain't you?

How about, "Would you like to have my baby, or has someone beaten me to it?"

Might work! xx
peacefulchrissy From: peacefulchrissy Date: February 9th, 2007 01:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I'd just carry on conversation until it came up. Or bring up someone else's pregnancy and see if they give any tidbits of info on their own status.
seattleforge From: seattleforge Date: February 9th, 2007 04:54 am (UTC) (Link)
NEVER BRING IT UP! You're not allowed to comment on a pregnancy unless the woman herself tells you, OR you see the baby's head crowning.
nuala From: nuala Date: February 17th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your wife is a lucky woman. Did she train you, or did you manage this level of cleverness all on your own? ;-)
seattleforge From: seattleforge Date: February 18th, 2007 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Trial and error. ;-)
seattleforge From: seattleforge Date: February 18th, 2007 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
And you're very sweet for noticing. ;-)
nuala From: nuala Date: February 18th, 2007 12:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
I had a male friend of mine who complimented me once on my new hair cut *before* he turned around and looked at me - just because his wife had mentioned that that's where I had been earlier in the afternoon. Sometimes it's the effort made & the thought behind it that count. And these things should be acknowledged and encouraged. :D

Although, perhaps, ya know, just as a thought, you shouldn't go looking for the crowning baby. That could be uncomfortable for all parties involved.
seattleforge From: seattleforge Date: February 18th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
As a father I vow that I will never go looking for a crowning baby, but if one were to present itself I couldn't help but congratulate the mother.
22 comments or Leave a comment